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my brother just passed his driving test and he’s really keen to get out and practice his driving, which basically means he is willing to drive me EVERYWHERE \0/

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"You are human tennis elbow. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth. You are the opposite of Captain America."

— Phil Coulson to John Garrett, “Turn, Turn, Turn”. (via morethanonepage)

(Source: incorrectaosquotes, via morethanonepage)

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alykat86:

Can we just take a minute to appreciate the fact that Phil Coulson was recruited by Fury straight out of high school?

I mean, can you imagine

This

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Fucking

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Face

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Coming up to you and saying, “I’m Agent Phil Coulson, with the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division. I need to ask you a few questions…” ????

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT?!?!?!

BECAUSE I FRICKIN’ AM!!!

STORIES!!! I DEMANDS THEM!! HOT BABY AGENT PHIL COULSON! I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDS IT!

(via ralkana)

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madmoll:

jokerofish:

Never over it.

Never forget.

(via tawghasa)

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zanegarretts:

get to know me: [1/5] favorite male characters: clint barton

"You don’t understand. Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Take you out and stuff something else in? You know what it’s like to be unmade?"

(via coulsons-hawk)

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justadashofsarcasm:

Attack of the puppy dog eyes

justadashofsarcasm:

Attack of the puppy dog eyes

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morethanonepage asked: Do you think Grant Ward turned to evil because he never even got a chance to bang Phil Coulson? Because I do.

This is absolutely the reason. This is also why Loki is evil. And Stane. And Vanko. And Killian. And Malekith. Every villain in the MCU is just bitter and frustrated because they will never do the do with Phil Coulson. Even General Ross and Justin Hammer.

(Grant must be particularly mad though, and I bet it’s because he went in to save him, and got nothing. ‘Hand was all, ‘no agent is worth this’ and I was all ‘COULSON IS’ and I still didn’t get laid! It’s not fair. Join shield they said. Have awesome hot sex with Phil Coulson they said. What a bunch of lies, I’m joining Hydra, haha who’s the winner now!??? It’s still not me because Phil Coulson exists and is not in bed with me.’ - A sad tale by Grant Ward.)

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thatwasonegoodking asked: I think they all must be super upset that they are no longer tapping that. Maybe John saw Phil in his bulletproof sweater vest and rolled up sleeves and thought 'that's it, that's the final straw, I am so sexually frustrated and sad over my inability to bang Phil Coulson that I am joining Hydra'. I mean, he doesn't care about the ideology, so that's as good a reason as the one he actually gave.

morethanonepage:

thatwasonegoodking:

morethanonepage:

Well I know I personally am sometimes driven to evil by my inability to bang Phil Coulson (especially when he’s wearing the bulletproof sweater vest and rolled up sleeves), so yeah, I feel that.

I usually resort to yelling ‘UNACCEPTABLE’ at his face, but evil is the next step for sure.

#phil coulson and his evil exes <- okay where is the Clint Barton vs. Phil’s seven evil exes fic, come on fandom.

Lol, Phil Coulson is a beautiful naive sophisticated baby, he’ll be completely surprised to find out YET ANOTHER of his lovers is, in fact, the Clairvoyant or the head of HYDRA or something.

Why does the poor darling have such bad luck with relationships? Is it for teen movie reasons of his real true love having been right under his nose all along? TIME WILL TELL.

Clearly it’s going to keep happening until Clint turns up outside the Bus holding a boombox above his head. Or any other teen movie solution to problems. Come on Clint, save Phil (and incidentally, the world, because damn Phil you have some seriously angry megalomaniac exes) from his terrible relationship woes!

I feel like Johnny Storm is far more likely to be an evil ex than Steve Rogers, but you never know.

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thatwasonegoodking asked: I think they all must be super upset that they are no longer tapping that. Maybe John saw Phil in his bulletproof sweater vest and rolled up sleeves and thought 'that's it, that's the final straw, I am so sexually frustrated and sad over my inability to bang Phil Coulson that I am joining Hydra'. I mean, he doesn't care about the ideology, so that's as good a reason as the one he actually gave.

morethanonepage:

Well I know I personally am sometimes driven to evil by my inability to bang Phil Coulson (especially when he’s wearing the bulletproof sweater vest and rolled up sleeves), so yeah, I feel that.

I usually resort to yelling ‘UNACCEPTABLE’ at his face, but evil is the next step for sure.

#phil coulson and his evil exes <- okay where is the Clint Barton vs. Phil’s seven evil exes fic, come on fandom.

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